confident???

what is confident actually???

people said that we should have confident with the things that we done...

BUT,

im lack of confident...

i don't know either i can do well in my college life or not.....

i started to worried...

ONE of my friend said that i should have confident with myself...

i can do it...

i feel so stress...

before i going to sleep,i start to think ''omg~~ what should i do''

''omg~ how if my exam fail''

that make me trouble....

i feel so stress...

actually nobody can help me to settle this things all....

but i also cnt help myself...

how if go there don't have any friends??

that already out of my control....

i shall control up my emotion....

i want to get good result...

i dowan to live like a zombie anymore...

dun care anything.....

i wish to done everything well in the rest of my life....

i don't want to let people feel that im useless anymore...

i never voice out ,i never take action it does not mean that im useless...

i just don't want to let myself so busy...

i need PEACE....

PEACE will bring joy to me...

i NEED PEACE

给你的信~

永远的朋友~

你永远住在我心。。

永远永远的~

2009年的8月16日

一个我永远永远无法忘记的日子。。

一个让我感到很痛很痛的日子。。

一个让我痛哭的日子。。

你的离开让我不懂要怎样面对。。。

当时我开市逃避了。。。

逃避一切与你有关的事。。。

你的离开好像是昨天发生那个样子。。。

记忆犹新。。。

每逢新年我就会莫名的开始你了。。。

回去那个寺庙。。。

仿佛好像回到过去一样。。

去年新年时我更天真的想说，‘如果我回去那里，我们像以前那个样子吗，你会出现吗？？’

怎么啦？？

你不跟我玩了吗？？

以前我去你家时，你都会笑咪咪的开门。。

现在呢？

只剩下你的妈妈罢了。。。

你好狠。。。

如果你没离开我们会是怎样呢？

我开始不懂了。。

我真的真的很想你。。。

你知道吗？？

两年应该可以慢慢的适应了吧。。。

但是我真的没有那个勇气去接受一切。。。

我没办法做到。。

我还很记得的记得你的样子。。。

最后一面的样子。。。

躺在那里一动也不动。。。

心痛极了。。。

你无法了解吧。。。

我的心情~

每次当你妈妈告诉我要听话时，

为什么我总是能感受到她的伤心的感觉？？

为什么我总是到了那里但是我鼓不起勇气踏进里面呢？

因为我怕~

我真的真的很怕。。。

怕看见你的照片，

你的灵位。。

让我眼泪不禁的落下~

你应该觉得我很胆小吧。。。

别笑我哦。。

也别生气。。。

你也应该收到我很多的信吧。。

但是，

为什么你没有回我呢？

我还在等你的信。。。

时间让我更加的思念你。。

思念你的一切。。

你永远都会住在我的心。。。

我答应你，

等我有空我一定会鼓起勇气去祭拜你。。

买你爱吃的东西。~

最后，

佳佳~

我真的很想你。。。

可以再让我看你最后一次吗？？？

15days more....

15days to relax~

15days to stay with my parents...

15days more im goin to start my college life~

not to said im scare or wat......

but.....

meet new people...

begining with a new life

jz like girls' generation song ''into the new world''

arggggg>.<

i duno who is going to be my roommate..

nervous man....

jz hope i cn get a good roommate..

god bless me....

please...i beg u...

huh~

after tat i really really need to leave here d...

8years in penang....

seriously i hate penang so damn much..

i more prefer back kl life....

i had been kick to kl there since i born.....

then i nvr back here.....

until i 7years old.....

i started to stay at kulim there.....

peace life...

after i move to here.....

my life had change since 9years ago...

i knew alot of new friends.....

even meet my kindergarden friend...

so i started to love my butterworth life..

but i duno i cn still stay at here...

i started to feel fed up with everything around me...

huh....

after 8years...

i shall move to another place..

not shall...is must move....

move to a new place....

like singapore??

but singapore too near to malaysia....

mayb taiwan??

i love taiwan life.....

if not mum dun let,early early i goin to taiwan study my environmental Scientists...

better than now....

study nursing...

although is the same field..but im more interest with that...

but everything already pass jorx..

its too late d..since mum dun let me go...

after 15days i will be totally transform to another ppl..

i will work hard..

to get good result......

i will prove it to the ppl tat look down me...

i will....

jz sit there and look at it...

no matter how...

i will prove it...

im better than you......

从现在开始~

我要把你完完全全的赶出我的世界~

开始得并不怎么样。。。

就因为我的自私，我想彻底的放弃。。

如果到时真的有缘分的话，我们再继续。。

但，没有人能保证说我们的心不会变。。。

如果遇见了。。。

那就无所谓啦。。。

该放手的时候就该放吧~

谢谢你，给了我一个曾经~

谢谢你。。。

谢谢你的体谅。。

谢谢你的一切一切。。。

就这一段时间我们也不须要联络什么的。。。

就把一切收在心底。。

永远永远~。~

自私也好，霸道也罢。。。

怎样都无所谓了。。

对不起~

ytd 6 of jun....

i hang out vf wei yun.ee wern and eewern's friend...

to watch movie....

i gona pokai d.since i din work two month d..

i alwaz kiao ka at home....

and i go draw out all my money from my saving account at am bank there..

u noe wat hapen?>??

the bank service damn SUCK

jz because my sign gt little big different vf last time she dun let me take the money

is ok if u dun let me take out...

jz take it easy

u will see my complain letter the nex day...

if u dowan let me take,then u sumore fool me asking me stand there and wait the ppl show me my signature through the computer..

ok,i jz wait since i need the money to buy thing, and paid my internet fee for three month...

i stand there nearly 10minute...

no ppl wana to peduli me....

is ok actually....

u will jz see my face damn black standing there....

i damn beh syok d...

luckily lastly u let me take the money...

or else u will get my complain letter on the nex day....

rmb customer alwaz right....

u dun think cn fight vf customer vf ur little mini pose....

useless thing.....

is ok lah...

since she giv me the money d...

so i oso jz take it and leave...since she oso working wan....

dowan cari pasal vf her lah....

pity her if lose her job...

i will nvr save my money in am bank anymore......

suck!!!

PROMISE

a promise....

a promise that done with myself....

im goin to start my new life after 24days.....

since last time i noe tat my mum veli sayang me....

she will jz buy everything for me tat i want....

handphone.......last year march...

i jz bought a hp...

w995 model....

with rm1300.....

after four month because of my carelessness i drop my phone when wana goin to tuition class....

then i cry...

after when my mum cum bac,

she direct fetch me go to the phone shop and buy another new phone for me.....

tat time i veli hapi...

because i duno anything.....

now onli i noe tat.....

holding a new phone....

and mum paid the bill with her salary...

now flash back..i feel tat im so damn........... duno how to think...

another thing...

laptop...

i fight vf her after i finish working...

she ask me still wana continue study or working???

then i said i wan study...

she ask me try to apply nursing college....

im so damn angry tat time.....

but after think for one day....

i send my resume to the college....

and she buy a laptop for me.....

jz because wana to let me to do my thing...........

i really really feel so sorry to my mum......

sorry mummy.....

i will not using ur money in future anymore...

i will gav u money everymonth....

after 3years....

i will drive ur car...

and u dun need to buy a new car for me...

u used the money and buy a car that you wan...

i will paid half of the payment for u....

in future...

no matter how hard..

i will finish my studying with good result...

i will not let ppl look down of me anymore...

i will make u proud of me.....

i will prove it to someone tat im better than you!!

i noe tat my character make u feel like i cnt independent in my life..

and make u alwaz worry bout me....

i noe tat..

i noe my family veli care me....

i noe tat actually...

i jz act duno....

i love and care u all too....

jz like when taking result time....

u all worry me....

alwaz msg me to encourage me....

i will nvr drop my tears infront of u all..

because i dowan see u all sad...worry.....

so i will alwaz show u all my smiling face.....

i promise tat i will takecare myself in future...

so dun need worry me....

a word tat i had been keep in my heart for 18 years........

mummy,papa, jiejie

'' i love you''

3 of jun d......

27days more im moving to penang and start my nursing class for 3years....

wat to said....

im so damn down right now...

since i hav to leave a place tat i had stay for more than 8years...

butterworth....~~

a place tat full with my memories....

i will take a part of that memories go vf me....

the rest i will jz dump a side....

im goin to leave here......

i want stay vf my family...

and i realy more prefer to study form6....

since cn stay vf my mum...

but so bad...i get the offer from the college...

and it is full sponsor by the hospital....

im lucky for get tat offer....

rm70k........

huge number.....

i noe tat my mum eally hope i take the offer from them and study at there...

coz if i choose nursing field i will not worry bout my future anymore...

so,

becoz i dowan let my mum worry...

and i choose tiz...

actually everything is the same....

i will study hard to hit the target by getting good result...

when in secondary school i nvr paid attention to my result...

i alwaz play all the time........

but no more for now.....

a friend heard tat i said like tat she feel so shock tat i will saying such words....

ya,i really change....

i was looks down by someone....

i nvr feel anything bad or wat.....

i jz feel tat need think before wana to said anything....

4flat......is not hard to get 4flat if v put much effort...

after 3years i already graduate from the nursing college and start to work as a staff nurse in a hospital...

and how bout you???

im hapi if you get 4flat....

but nvr look down at ppl.....

coz you will feel hurt when drop from the top there....

and

rmb

nvr use ur spm result to compare vf mine......

coz i dowan to compare vf you.....

although result is better a bit than you....

coz the one tat i wan compare is with myself.........

after i goin to college i not think tat i will still keep in touch vf you....

coz i dowan....

waste my money......

if u still keep on shoot ppl...

i will far away from u.....

十八岁的天空

十八岁。。。

是一个又年轻又有活力。。。

很多人羡慕的一个年龄。。。

今年十八岁的我。。。

发生了好多好多事。。

也经历了好多事。。。

当中当然有愉快和不愉快的事。。。。

不愉快的事情就当作是一种磨炼。。。

磨炼自己以后在社会上待人处事的态度。。。

以后再社会上要时时警惕自己。。。

不要让发生过的事反复的发生。。。

如果一次能被原谅。。

两次是傻。。

三次是笨。。

四次以上是没话说。。。无药可救了...

哈哈哈哈。。。

所以我以后不会再像现在了。。。

我都要开始读书了。。

至于，

愉快的事情呢，

我想用永远的收在心里。。

我不是属于那一钟一旦时间久了我就会忘记的人。。

时间的长久却让我更加的想你们哦。。。

当我回来时我一定会找你们的。。。

我永远都会记得我们有那么开心的时光。~~

十八岁的天空是怎样的？？？

十八岁，

是脱离中学向往大学或学院的年龄。。。

是面对人生大考验的年龄。。。

还有，

注定前途的年龄。。。。

我的十八岁会是怎样呢？？？

我自己也不知道~~~~